Momma has a Meltdown

Have you ever had one of those days where you are a complete wreck for no apparent (or hormonal) reason?  It's kind of an out of body experience.  Let me tell you about mine.
For our homestudy I have to have a physical.  I have been to a regular doctor exactly one time since I got married.  That was at the shore.  So I had to find a doctor.  I found one, scheduled an appointment, realized it wouldn't work, called back and rescheduled for today, early.  I showed up at the doctor's office at 7:45am for my 8am appointment.  As I pulled in my cell phone rang.  It was George telling me my appointment had been canceled.  I went in anyway and was told I would have to sit there until 8 when they opened their window to reschedule my appointment.  That ticked me off so I went home and called at 8.  Guess what?  They don't answer the phone til nine.  I may be done with them.  I haven't decided.
So for whatever reason this really made my day crappy.  I was tired and cranky for most of the morning. 

I had to suck it up though and head to see my favorite Irish doctor.  I was looking forward to the relaxing environment of the waiting room:  the candles, tea, cookies and the greeting of, "Shannon, my love, how are you?!?!?"  I didn't realize how apprehensive I was about going back there until I was on my way.  I started realizing that I was usually pregnant when I was there and I wasn't this time and probably never would be again but I pushed it down knowing that my obgyn would make me feel better (I know it sounds weird but I adore the woman)  Anyway, I walked in and gave my name to a girl I'd never seen before.  She said, "Oh I tried to call you and tell you we had to cancel your appointment but the line was busy"  Commence breakdown.  I said, "When did you call?"  her, "March 17"  Me, "AND YOU NEVER CALLED BACK!"  She said, "Well, we called three times and it was busy every time.  If you could see the list of people I have to call.  I can't just keep calling people.  Sorry.  I can reschedule you  for the end of June"  I made sure my number we correct and gave them my cell phone and got out of there just as I started to cry.  I was soooooo frustrated I just started driving home when I realized I was supposed to pick up a prescription.  I pulled myself back together.  Turned around and went back in to demand my prescription.  I expected the girl to give me an attitude but instead she apologized saying she had had a bad day.  I said, "me too" and started to cry just a little.  That's when Patti, the midwife walked in.  She asked what was wrong.  When I told her I was fine she said, "Shannon, your standing in the window crying!  What are you doing?!?!  Come back here!"  I put my head down and plowed through the crowded waiting room to the back where Patti put her arm around me while I tried to convince her, between sobs, that, "I [sob] really [sob] am [sob] fine.  I ddddddon't [sob] know [sob] what [sob] my pppproblem is."  The whole time I was sitting there I felt like such a dork!  I was so embarrassed to be crying like that and I still don't really know why.  I went in there expecting to tell them all how great I was doing and instead I was having a complete break down. 

Well, you've heard that the squeaky wheel gets the oil?  Apparently so does the sobbing nut case.  The receptionist brought me in several months of free prescriptions and Patti told her to schedule me an appointment.  When the girl said, "We don't have anything until the end of June" Patti said, "I think we've inconvenienced her enough, make something, and soon."   So I go back in a couple of weeks.  I'm hoping I can come up with a great plan by then to convince them I really am fine! 

My Life: The Musical

I've always loved musicals.  The range of emotions that come out when watching a musical make them so memorable.  I'll never forget the way I felt sitting on my parents couch with my friend Erica sobbing our eyes out repeating "Did he have to die?!?!" after watching West Side Story.  A beautiful sunny morning always get me singing Oh What a Beautiful Morning from Oklahoma.  Put on a Happy Face from Bye Bye Birdie and You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile from Annie can always put a smile on my face.   Speaking of Annie, I can't tell you how many times I've walked around my house belting out Miss Hannigans Little Girls:) 

All that to say, I always thought there was something bizarre about the concept of people just bursting into song in the middle of talking.  It's weird and unrealistic, or so I thought.  Then I had kids.  My children will be holding a perfectly normal conversation with me and suddenly break into song.  It's hard not to laugh when your five year old asks you a deep question about God, you sit down and answer her as clearly as you can and she suddenly stands up and says, "So it's like this?" and burst into a totally made up song.  Sometimes it's more gradual.  I don't even realize what's happining.  Talking becomes singsongy talking and then before I know it there is an entire song and dance taking place in front of me. Lindsey doesn't do this as much but I'v noticed she's starting.  Maybe they are the next big Broadway duo?!?!
It makes me wonder what Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein were like as children.

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Little Philosopher

No one ever told me that after the "why" stage there was another, even more frustrating, stage around the corner.  It's the "What do you mean?" stage.  Christin feels that this is an appropriate question to ask in any situation.  "Christin it's time for dinner."  "What do you mean?"  "Christin you left your clothes on the floor"  "What do you mean?" "Christin did you finish your schoolwork?"  "What do you mean?".
I sometimes give an extremely long answer in hopes that I will frustrate her as much as that question frustrates me.  For example:
Me:  "Christin, it's time to brush your teeth."
Christin:  "What do you mean?"
Me:  "It is seven-thirty in the pm.  It is customary to brush you teeth at this time of day.  The reason we brush our teeth at this time is because we are about to go to bed.  If you do not remove the gunk from your teeth before going to bed it will turn into plaque.  Plaque cannot be removed by your tooth brush and must be taken care of by the dentist.  So put a pea size amount of toothpaste on your red toothbrush and brush every single part of every single tooth and your tongue and cheeks."
Usually during the lengthy explanation she interrupts several times with "Maaahhhmom" (is that the appropriate spelling for the long drawn out version of mom?  I had moooom but that made me think of a cow which made me feel badly about myself, but I digress)
 Anyway, I just keep talking and hope that one day she will grow out of the "What do you mean?" stage.

We Should

Lindsey has developed a new love for the word should.  Every time I tell her she "shouldn't" do something she replies, "I should!" in her little chipper voice that frankly is hard to argue with.  Sometimes she even switches it up and says "you should!"  Let me give you an example:

Just last week I was hiding in taking a shower.  Lindsey has decided that when I shower she should come in the bathroom and sit on the toilet and talk to me.  It's especially great when I get out and she gives me a running commentary on my body, but you so don't want to hear about that.  Anyway, the other day I opened the curtain to find the entire roll of toilet paper unrolled onto the floor.  I sighed and said, "Lindsey, you really shouldn't unroll the toilet paper."  She looked my right in the eyes and said, "You should!  It's fun."  I have to admit, she can be very convincing, it does look fun.  I may have to try it.  The trick is finding a time I can do it and frame it on the kids in perfect timing so that someone else has to roll it back up because that is not fun. 

I think she has a career in advertising.