Friday, February 29, 2008

That Woman

I was that woman in the grocery store today. Now before you get excited for me I'm not talking about the one with her nails and hair done who's dressed impecably and pushing the cart full of angelic children and organic groceries which she has a coupons for and singing her children fun little songs. Oh no, not THAT woman I'm talking about the other one. The one who depending on what kind of mood you are in is either "that poor woman", "that incompetant woman", or "that women who is so far in over her head that that she's seeing the scary fish with the lights" (if you don't get the reference go whatch Finding Nemo six or seven hundred times)
Anyway, when it got to the point that I realized it is most likely unhealthy to make the children eat mayo for lunch I decided I must go to the store, and take all three of them. I know if you're a mom and you've done this, take 3 children under 4yo to the grocery store, you're thinking "mayo is a fantastic lunch"
When we got to the grocery store we circled the parking lot until we saw another mother with one of those "car carts" They only have like 2 of them but they are the only thing that will hold even 2 kids so we needed one. As a side note if you've never used one try it some time. It's much like child birth, you try to push something that is clearly to large for the space you are trying to push it through often to the sound of screaming and crying. . .I wonder if they make a grocery store epidural. . .but I digress.
Upon entering the store, putting Aidan's shoes back on, taking everyone's coats off and buckling everyone in we began shopping. We made it exactly 1 row in the produce section before the whinning began. Aidan was squishing Christin, Christin took Aidan's toy, they both wanted to get out and I wanted to run away. About halfway through Christin lost her Barbie doll's skirt and began cry/whinning about it. I had told her not to bring that Barbie so I wasn't going back to look for it. I think it was about then that we passed the other "car cart". With FOUR angelic children in it. At first I was in awe, then jealous, then I decided she must have drugged them and herself. By the end of the trip I was positive about the drugs, you see as I was prying Aidan's hand off the mop bucket in the middle of the isle she ran me over with her huge car cart. I was not hard to see with my screaming children and gigantic red cart so either she was high or just plain mean. And for the record, it hurt, I think it would hurt less to get hit in the back of the legs with a VW Bug.
After checking out, without eggs which I somehow forgot, I got out of there vowing to never go back with all the kids again! Being THAT WOMAN is no fun.
The End
PS. Did I mention that Lindsey is teething and has not allowed me to sleep in, actually I have no idea how longs it's been, maybe 7 months?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aw, Shan! I'm sorry you had to be THAT woman! But hey, you do have an adoring little sister that could help you out once in a while. I know that I'm busy a lot but instead of waiting until all you have left is mayo, call me a few days before that and I'll go shopping for you or will watch the midgets while you go. Or can help you out in the afternoons, or clean for you while you rest so that you don't fall apart! Don't forget you have people who love you and want to help! I hope tomorrow is a better day! Love ya!
Rebecca

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA shannon. seriously, you need to write a book (because you OBVIOUSLY have time for that). this stuff is priceless! and p.s. rebecca is right! CALL US! i am here to help! and by help, i mean a little less in the actually-watching-the-rugrats way and a little more in the taking-you-out-for-a-cocktail-and-a-pedicure-while-someone-else-watches-your-kids way, but help nonetheless. =) haha i love you!

Anonymous said...

p.s. "cous" hit enter by accident, so if you couldn't figure it out, "cous" is me, laura

Anonymous said...

I remember when Dan Urbaniak was about 7 or 8 months old, Patti told me that Paul thought she should stop having his mother watch Dan while Patti went to the store. "How will he learn how to behave in the grocery store if you never take him?" Paul wondered. As a mother of 3 with a 4th on the way at that time, my advice to her was this - If you can get Paul's mom to watch that child until he is in school so you NEVER have to take him to the grocery store - you do it!! Learn how to behave in a grocery store??? Men!
Love, Mom
P.S. Your little sister is so sweet - and right!

Anonymous said...

Shanny,
That other woman was definitely on mind-altering drugs, and you are VERY normal. I distinctly remember going to Shoprite of Laurel Hill with you, Tara, Bob and Nick, all in the "food" part of the cart, and my groceries in the "child" part! For some reason, all of you children expected to be fed at least once a day! So don't ever think YOU are the oddball. Anyone who appears to have it all together when they have multiple children is clearly using heavy sedatives. (I often wondered how one found those drugs!....and if I could get some!)
Love,
Aunt Linda :-)

Here is what we were doing and learning this summer when I should have been blogging:)