Mommy Guilt

Motherhood goes hand in hand with guilt. Am I spending enough time with each child? Do I discipline too much? not enough? Do I read to them enough? give them enough outside time? Are their lives structured enough? over structured? and the list goes on and on. Lately Christin has been the main source of my guilt.

Last Thursday Christin started nursery school. The morning went beautifully. We were all up, feed, dressed and out the door at exactly the right time (still not sure how that happened). I took pictures at home and brought my camera to take more at school. She walked in like she'd done it a million times, hung up her backpack, washed her hands, found her name on an apple, gave me a kiss and went off to play. I turned around happy that she was doing so well but expecting to tear up a little: nothing. Then I took Lindsey to the park and worked out and had a GREAT time. Then the guilt set in. I felt guilty for not getting emotional about Christin going to school. I felt guilty for so enjoying my time working out. I've yet to tell Christin that everyday we drop her off and head to the park. Christin has always been my workout buddy and now it's like I'm cheating on her with Lindsey and Aidan. I have this secret life of working out. I try to hide it by eating as much Ben and Jerry's as possible so she won't see the effects but I know one day I will slip up and she will learn of my affair.

Christin also made me feel guilty while riding in the car this week. We were both hungry so we stopped at McDonalds. I bought her a kids meal but opted for a grilled chicken snacker and iced tea for myself trying to be healthy. In Christin's best interest I dumped out about half her fries into my bag (I didn't want her to eat all that unhealthy stuff:) I felt a little guilty as a sneaked fries without her knowing however the real guilt set in when she ever so sweetly said, "Mommy would you like one of my fries?" I felt guilty taking it but how could I turn down her generosity. I hate to discourage her so I took it, and about 10 more.

Yup motherhood is one big guiltfest and I'm assuming it never ends but I'll take the guilt (and the extra fries) it's definitily worth it!

We love the Zoo

It's been another busy week. We went to Mommom and Poppop Perrys on Saturady, Mommom and Poppop Ragone's on Sunday, Washington Lake Park and the Pitman Carnival on Monday, an ice cream social at the church on Wednesday and finaly: the Philadelphia Zoo on Thursday.

We love the zoo. It starts and ends the same every time but the middle is what makes it great. It starts with me running around trying to get all the stuff together and everyone wearing clothes that match. During this time I usually get stressed out and try to keep to myself that this was a terrible idea (usually mine with George whole heartedly aggreeing). Then we get there and I worry that it is crowded. It doesn't matter if I only see one car in the parking lot I inevitably say something like "Looks like everyone else had the same idea." (I think this may be an inherited trait from a much loved grandparent:) I've realized this about myself and I try and say it a little less negativily each time! Once we get inside we have a great time. It never fails that at least one animal is exceptionally entertaining. This time there were several: The polar bear swam around for about 10 min. (a rare occurence we are told and very entertaining). The baby tigers were all out and about and so playful and cute! The sloth was hanging in a tree way too close for comfort (I say this and yet I made Christin stand there to show how close it was. I figured if it attacked we'd have time to grab Christin and run before it had moved much). We also got to see a really interesting and fun bird show. The birds were so funny! We especially like one that catches lizards and throws them on the ground to kill them. They demonstrated with a rubber alligator and this bird made sure he was dead. He kept picking him up and throwing him even as the trainers were trying to get him to leave. There were so many neat things I won't name them all but we had a great time.
As I said before the day always ends the same: George has Christin on his shoulders, she's barely awake, he's power walking trying to get to the car and I'm meandering to tired to even try to catch up and just hoping I have time to get to the car before he loads up the kids and leaves without me! We are all dirty, sweaty, and exhausted and it's great. God has created so many amazing animals and the zoo is such a great place to just reflect on the imagination of God. And that's why we love the zoo.