Thursday, January 24, 2008

What came first the crazy or the kids?

I found myself lying awake the other night sniffling, then laughing, then pondering, and finally sleeping. It all started with a simple question I asked myself: "How old will Christin be when Lindsey is her age now?" "7" I answered (this is where I start to loose it) The train of thought that followed was this: 7?!?! That's halfway to 14! 14's only 4 years away from 18! Oh my gosh where is the time going my baby is almost ready to move out!!! Then I started to cry. After a few minutes of tears I realized I actually was crazy. I think I've known it for some time now but I finally admitted it out loud (it kind of felt good). That made me laugh. I thought about waking up George to tell him what a nutcase I am but then I realized he probably already knows and if he doesn't who am I to ruin his perception of me.
So this revelation (the fact that I actually am crazy) led me to ponder another question: What came first the crazy or the kids? I'm fairly certain I am not the only crazy mom out there, frankly because I know a lot of them and well ya know. And let me make myself clear: I'm not talking about hormones, I'm not talking about when a mom is pmsing or pregnant or had a really crappy day. That's a whole different story. I'm talking about middle of the cycle, "normal" life crazy. I know I became this way sometime around the birth of Christin but I'm wondering, did Christin make me crazy or was my very first act of craziness when I said "I'm ready to have a baby."? Since that moment there have been other acts of craziness (like when I said "I think we should have another one") Or when I find myself smelling my children to decide if I have to give them a bath or if it can wait one (or two or three) more nights (I gave serious consideration to deleting that but what fun is a blog if it's not honest?).
So tell me moms, what crazy thoughts have you had? What ridiculous things have had you in tears in the middle of the night?

Here is what we were doing and learning this summer when I should have been blogging:)